Hitting the jackpot – getting gardening leave
Are you likely to take loads of customers and inside knowledge with you when you go? Lucky you - your employer might play it safe and grant you gardening leave, otherwise known as spending your notice at home. If it’s not looking likely, try making your bosses think you’re about to hand company secrets to the competition. “If they ask what you’ll be doing say you’d rather not say until you start the new job,” recommends one regular “gardener”. That should get them thinking!
Honesty is not always the best policy
Tempted to tell your boss where to go? Don’t do it! Unless you’re leaving your industry altogether, it’s best to just smile knowingly and keep your opinions to yourself. Even then, it’s better to keep hush. You don’t want to end up like the marketer who told her boss where to stick it - only for him to turn up at her new company!
The shorter it is the sweeter it will be
Listen carefully. You can make your notice period a time of diplomacy and grooming relationships and even leave your job on a good note. Sound impossible? Just follow the golden rule: don’t assume anything. The colleagues you assumed were on your side when you were sharing a good whinge over a cuppa might not be so friendly now you’re off to better things. So, no more moaning about the company or the people in it and your last days should go smoothly. Of course, holding your tongue will be easier if you can shorten your notice period. See if you can trade in notice pay, or tie up loose ends to negotiate an early departure.
Get out quickly if the going’s good
It’s the job from hell. And the only thing ever likely to be heavenly about it is the sound of the door slamming shut behind you on your last day. A speedy exit can give you breathing space and time to build your confidence before starting your new role. If you can’t get out early and it’s really getting to you, try getting signed off on stress related grounds. Although it’s probably best to avoid it before your new employer has asked you about the number of sick days you’ve had!
Come out smelling of roses
Finally! Your last day has arrived. Now is the time to make your self look wonderful and make it a fond farewell. Send a last email to wish your colleagues well. Leave an email address so they can keep in touch and tell them how much you’ve enjoyed working with them - even if it’s not true!
It ain’t over till it’s over…
Now to the pub for the traditional leaving drinks. But you’re not safe yet! A free flow of alcohol and the excitement of leaving make it easy to say all those things you’ve been keeping to yourself. So set a sensible leaving time and glide out of there with a smile. You can always have a boozy get-together with closer friends later!
